Operation Lily Put - Heading Home: A slight diversion, or, how I got heat exhaustion

<record scratch>  Short walk?  I don't think so.

Pretty Architecture!

My little family has a proud tradition of taking the four of us (me, wife, two kids) on Legendary Death Marches. We've done it so often it's hard to think of examples. I know we did one in New York when we had at least one baby and my mother with us. All I remember from that one was darkness, bright headlights at a highway tunnel, and having to cross that street. But seeing the Statue of Liberty from afar in the cold dark night was worth it.

And apparently I just whipped up a Legendary Death March myself! At some point I realized Route 66 starts in Chicago. So I looked it up, and the intersection wasn't too far off.   Maybe 6 blocks?  Less than a mile.  Ok, almost a mile. But I had plenty of time and it was nicely air conditioned in the lounge as I planned the trip, so I thought it would be pleasant enough to go outside. Outside, by the way, wasn't pleasant enough. It was blast furnace hot with the sun turned up to full blast. Humidity so thick it felt like I was in Baltimore again. I am really ready to be back on the tundra, or at least in familiar air conditioning.

So here's where I went, complete with pictures:

Walk down Jackson Blvd a few blocks and cross the river on a cool lift bridge.

I saw many tourists, but also some random sketchy looking people who looked like they were doing risk probability math in their heads.

But they didn't bother me.

Also, I had my "I'm from the city" face on, the one that would make Mom think I needed a hug.

I realized while waiting at a light that I am directly under the Sears Tower/Willis tower, and took a picture as a selfie without the self because it was too tall to aim at.

Walked another couple blocks to Calder's Flamingo, a "Monumental 1974 abstract sculpture" and the location of the free cigarettes mentioned previously.

Also I'm pretty sure a shot like this was in Ferris Bueller's Day Off

I remember being very impressed by the sculpture when I saw it, and have always wondered when people don't know Calder.

I guess I thought if someone could make something that big and impressive, everyone would know who they were.

Continuing on I pass by The Berghoff, the only German restaurant in Chicago.

Saw the Art Institute of Chicago ahead and there were street signs talking about a Banksy exhibit somewhere.

I'm not sure if that makes me happy or sad for Banksy, to be honest.

You're going to want to come back to this image later in the post.  Specifically to locate a detail on the left side of the image.

Saw the Lions, not too crowded, but it'll get worse.

I saw a sign I'd seen on the east coast that interested me.

It was the handicap logo, but had an energy of motion to it.

I took a picture of this one as I wanted to remember to look it up and see what's happening there.

Turns out it's trying to update the old logo and verbiage for better inclusivity for all disabilities, etc. which I'm fully supporting now.

Ok, I figure if I've come this far I should go far enough to see Lake Michigan, right?

So on another block or two and there it is!

Unfortunately, I forgot to get a picture of the largest lake within hundreds of miles, so here's a picture of me at Lake Michigan in 2005 looking like a goofy dad for the kids.

Oh wait, something said Millennium Park.

That's where the mirror bean thing is, isn't it.

Fine, another couple blocks, past fountains and gardens, mass yoga in the park, etc.

Oh and there it is, all reflective and so on.

Didn't even go up for a boring selfie, just "click" the camera button and keep walking.

This made me think of something interesting.

When you go see something famous like this, which has been photographed so, so, so many times, what makes you think your camera phone is going to be better than anyone else's, much less professional photographers?

So I propose a new way of doing tourism:  The Google Image Search Tour Philosophy.

When you get to something like the bean, rather than taking a picture, do a google image search for it.

Pick the best image that most closely resembles the bean on that day, and save it.

Boom.  Perfect picture and you're not even in the way of it.

Yes, there are some limitations, like not having your child Scout, Tyler, Ashley or Siobhan in the picture when they're five years old.

But that's what photoshop is for and they didn't even want to be in a picture.

So now you've just saved the whole family the resulting grumpiness and then tantrum because your son Ruttiger really didn't even want to go on this trip in the first place, and now you're taking a picture of him and he's not at all happy about it, etc.

I think this concept has legs!

You saw this image at the top of the post, but it really illustrates the fact that there is a ton of beautiful architecture but after a while it all starts looking the same.

Got some pictures of cool Chicago Architecture, and finally made it to Jackson and Michigan, where Route 66 starts. Except Jackson is a one way in the wrong direction.

 

I eventually found a sign, and it said it was the END of route 66.

 

Weren't you supposed to "motor west?" Not on that one-way the wrong way!  I had an internal conniption about that for some time, until I was looking up street names for this entry and noticed that Adams goes the right way, and apparently it has a "Historic Route 66 Begin Sign" Not only was I dumb enough to be confused, but I actually had to walk past it. And what do you know? I actually got a picture of the back of that Mother Hubbard when I was admiring the Banksy posters.

 

I just spent an awful long time on google maps verifying that this is indeed the sign that indicates the beginning of route 66. Thus allowing us to motor west, much to my relief. I'm an idiot. It's not like that was the Only Reason I Went On This Death March!

On my way back I got a classic image of being under an El. 

By this time I was completely drenched in sweat. And possibly starting a sun burn. Jeans for the train good, not so much for the 2.7 mile walk I just took. I was starting to feel a bit.. ethereal? Every once in a while a crosswalk would have a constant heavy wind, and that would cool me enough for a few blocks.

I know it's not all of Chicago, but that's an awful lot of iconic Chicago items. 

And I did all of that (2.7 miles!) in 45 minutes.  

I checked the timestamps.  That's an average of 3.6 mph.

 

But by the time I got to the main entrance at Union Station, and headed down the "Untouchables" stairs (or not, remember the mirror trick) I thought I might tumble down them light the stroller in that movie. But I was fine, and also discovered that the air conditioning in there was super cold! I sat on the furnished benches and tried to concentrate on cooling off and maybe drying a bit. Just as I thought I might have it under control, a drop of sweat falls from my face onto the floor, as if scripted.

Went to the nice lounge, got a clean shirt out of my big suitcase, changed into it in the bathroom (in a stall!) and found a place to sit, try and continue the cool down, and write some travelogue.  It wasn't until I was changing my shirt that I realized I hadn't put my mask back on. So I just paraded through Union Station looking like an anti-masker. It's things like this that will make me want to just abandon all of my stuff, taxi to the airport, buy an expensive ticket and just fly home rather than show my face again.  Good thing I'm wearing a mask, nobody will recognize me. But I was fine, and appreciated the fact that I had a nearly full water bottle.