Operation Lily Get - Why I love Trains

  Why do I love trains so?  Well first of all my father worked for Burlington Northern.  He was in the information processing department -- aka computers.  And that was back in the 70's.  I have fond memories of going in to his work and having a computer punch-card made for me with my name on it, just for fun.  I also remember seeing all the computers - my current laptop possibly being more powerful than all of them combined.  

Alligator looking to the left.  See it?

He also had a jacket which was the traditional green Burlington Northern color and the logo - which always looked like an alligator head to me.  A little scary, but more fascinating than anything else.  Dad used to take us down to the trainyards just out of downtown, and we'd park and watch the trains.  To a seven year old, this was a little low key and not exciting.  Boring, even.  But as a (dorky) adult I now understand the fascination.

Like this but without the "Joyce" patch.

Growing up we had an aunt (great aunt?) in Chicago, and my mother, my aunt and I would take the train to visit the great aunt.  Each of the kids in the family had this opportunity, but for some reason I got to do it twice.  It always involved the Empire Builder, and to a fourth grader, it was an amazing and wonderful adventure.  We would talk to the ACTUAL CONDUCTOR - how cool is that?  He taught us how to walk on a train.  Look straight ahead and walk with your feet as wide apart as possible.  We would go to the snack car and get.. snacks.  We'd sit in the observation car, as it was called at the time.  Big domed windows and lots of light and views.  Some vague memory in the back of my mind is yelling something about crosswords, but I have no idea what that memory would be.

On one of those trips we were in the observation car and the train had stopped in the middle of nowhere.  I saw a man in a red and white striped shirt (Waldo's grandparent?) running across the field.  Being a precocious little nine year old I said "Hey, there's a guy running across the field" to which the rest of the car snorted or giggled or scoffed or laughed at the imagination of a child.  And then someone saw him too and said "Hey, there's a guy running across the field" at which point everyone was interested and looking, etc.  I think this was my first really significant experience learning that kids just don't get listened to.

I don't know that we found out what the deal was - someone said someone jumped in front of the train, but I think the delay would have been much longer than 20 minutes.  Later as I was going from one car to another I think we went through a tunnel or something, as I passed our seats and went into the last car on the train.  Apparently that was crew only -- and the guy with the red and white shirt was there!  I was admonished and went back to my proper seat.  I never told my mom about the admonishment part.  But it was events like those that really made taking the train more interesting than driving or flying.

That's the memory element.

Logistically, I think I could go on for an hour and a half, which also happens to be the flight time from Minneapolis to Chicago.

But as far as cost goes the ticket prices are close enough that monetary cost isn't totally a problem.  It's the time you burn.  Train time is 8 hours.  So it's a little slower.  But the train station is beautiful and vintage/classic and sparse and uncomplicated.  No metal detectors, no huge crowds (because, well, train crowd) and when you board you pick the seat you want (in your assigned car) and just chill.  No seatbelt.  (Another thing they actually boast about)  No need to put the tray tables up.  The massive space between seats means you're never compressed by an overweight man in front of you reclining all the way back.  And as long as we're talking about reclining - airplane seats recline back somewhere between an inch or an inch and a half.  Pointless, pretty much.  Train seats, however, recline about a foot or so, so you can really lean back and chill.  And the space between seats means you still have more room behind a reclined seat than you do in a full space on an airplane.

Union Station in St Paul

I mentioned no metal detectors - there aren't any.  And apparently carrying a weapon on the train is legal, according to the Amtrak literature.  Except flintlocks or other black powder guns.  They have to draw the line somewhere, after all.  But there were Homeland Security agents all covered in flak jackets and Velcro, cargo pants and military shades.  (By military shades I don't mean officially issued shades, but the stereotypical wraparound "I have a goatee and a pickup truck with a bumper sticker that has profanity on it" type.)  

From the movie Zero Dark Thirty

I did feel a little bad for them, as the senior citizens and other train nerds offer a pretty minimal threat.  I can imagine if you screw up working for homeland security they'll send you to Union Station in Saint Paul.

Security with their tinted SUV

Speaking of passengers - nobody is boring.  You know on an airplane where there are interesting characters but more often than not it's businessmen and pretty people and so on?  Yeah, I know, I'm generalizing.  See the money-back offer earlier.  But the people I'm seeing on the train - wow!  From the different types and groups of Amish, to the senior citizens, to the strange looking guy who may or may not be carrying a gun (but not a black powder rifle!) you'll be hard pressed to find someone who doesn't have an interesting story.  Being an introvert I'll never know them, but if you have even just a scrap of normal personality, you can find people everywhere to talk to.  From the lounge and dining cars, to the coach seats (that aren't in a "quiet car") if you want to, you can get to know everyone so much more than maybe you even want.

So much tastier than it looks!

While I waited in line for a hotdog I realized one of the reasons I love the train.  They're land ships!  My love for and fascination for the sea is thwarted by living as far from an ocean as you can.  So taking a cruise liner across the Atlantic to the UK, sitting on deck chairs with a blanket on your lap and tea brought to you by a man named Jeeves while chatting with glamourous movie stars isn't really feasible.  Nor is stowing away on a cargo ship with the animals being transported in cages but being discovered by a deckhand with a heart of gold who brings you meals and ends up becoming a lifelong friend while you both laugh at the antics of the monkeys being shipped to zoos.  Not that I have extremely specific scenarios in mind or anything.

Glamorous Ocean Travel of Days Gone By

Taking a train is, in many ways, like taking a ship.  The scenery is something you don't usually see from a car or airplane.  It rocks gently (or not so gently) and has roles from the dawn of travel like conductor, porter, engineer, food microwaver.  And it's slow.  People complain, but if you have the time, why not?